Petworth Park

Petworth Park match report 2025

This usually magnificent Over 40’s match was approached with some trepidation this year.  Maybe it was the thought of being Walker-less for the first time.  Perhaps with school and work imminent and a long, hot summer behind us the reality of the last few matches of the season hit home.  Whatever the reason it was a struggle to find players and despite a few false dawns we were down to 8 fit bodies on the day.  The make-shift skipper hoped that it wasn’t personal and that those undertaking Real tennis in the morning would have a great time but exit the grand-old house unscathed and bouncing with energy.

Managing the toss is an art from with Walker-like colloquy required to ensure the best outcome for all.  With the opposition skipper saying ‘well I will just tell my guys you won the toss’, Martlets managed to both field first on a greenish, damp wicket and negotiate a possible draw in the outcome should the need require.  Masterful!  Better news was to come when Petworth admitted to having 12 players and suggested we played 10-a-side.  One can only wonder the selection process (rock-scissors-paper?) as Ian and JP motioned towards the Martlets that they would join us. Another coup as the day went on…

Michael Murray ran in with his usual efficiency and skill and tied down the openers with some excellent bowling.  The skipper, bowling into a strong wind, was much less efficient or skilful and was dispatched all around the park.  He would eventually be banished by himself to the boundary.  Willy Boulter was seemingly in the action at every play, diving around like a junior. Although at one point when the ball was struck high into the sun at long-off, Willy assumed the foetal position and hoped like many at war that the missile would not hit directly! Jermey McGahan did his usual bowling resurrection job replacing the skipper into the wind and managed to snare a rare wicket.  The loss of each wicket however seemed to bring in another young lumberjack with shoulders like prime-time Schwarzenegger.  The skipper noted earlier that the Petworth changing room resembled the Shrek film where he found all his relatives.  Worse still was the fact that defensive shots seem rarely coached at Petworth, rather a preference for full-scale swinging through the line.  The up side was the regular breaks to find the ball on a ground that ought to have been big enough. The Martlets were being peppered and it was so bad the skipper wished he had been invited to Tom Whyte’s family wedding.

Dave Brooks brought things back a bit with his usual calmness and managed another rare wicket with an excellent delivery. Even Dave’s fielding was tight as he showed the focus missing on previous jaunts – perhaps Degsy is Dave’s kryptonite?  Ominous warnings were issued by new recruit Ian after drinks and it was felt he was the best equipped to manage the crisis so on he trundled.  Now, from my position on the boundary it did not appear that Ian was doing anything different but clearly the result certainly was! Wicket after wicket was taken and Ian managed a grimaced smile like trapped wind at Christmas as he cut through his former teammates.  There was plenty of chat from the locals who were gathering pitchforks and lighting torches but the skipper calmly had Ian’s Martlets membership seconded before the innings was complete.  Mention should be made of a rare Stuart Richie catch at mid-on that astonished all given his sloth-like locomotion and preference to use his feet more than his hands to this point.  He must be good at Real tennis.  Michael Murray took another good catch in the deep and Phil Savage was involved in a sharp catch and a good stumping behind the stumps.  Ian had a 6-for without breaking a sweat and the Martlets were chasing too many (223?) off not enough (35 overs).  Time for the tea which was worthy of the best of banquets put on at the house.  The freshly baked ham forced the skipper to suggest it was the best tea all year and he immediately put himself down the order to No 7 to ensure a good sized second plate.

The opening pair of Willy and Phil seemed energised by the feast and promptly put on a fantastic 50 run opening partnership.  Phil punished anything short or full with ruthless precision.  Willy was keen to enforce a run-out and the dictionary definition of hyperopia (long-sightedness) has now been edited to credit his decision making. This partnership encompassed everything that is good about O40 (O50?) cricket. It was fun and eventful but like a great appetizer it left us wondering where the main meal would come.  Jamie O’Meara was like one of those tasty pasta courses you get in Italy – all the zest without over-filling.  Stu Ritchie was the flavoursome grinding of pepper over the top. The best thing was they both showed the opposition how to play a proper defensive shot.  Not sure if they noticed. They both took their time but eventually got the runs flowing and Stu was even seen running a single – maybe it was the catch that inspired him.  Jamie started lofting the ball into spaces and Martlets cricket was alive.  Alas, both departed and left the job to someone else.

The next major partnership was the two ring-ins, JP and Ian from Petworth and the ante was raised as the locals looked to extract revenge for Ian’s earlier wicket taking.  He looked unsure about how to take on the challenge and after a brief cameo offered his wicket as some solace to enable further matches for the club.  JP frustrated the locals for a little longer but was eventually bowled by a very good quicker ball.

This brought Michael into bat with the skipper who had recovered from the earlier over-eating incident and weighed up the options on the scoreboard.  100 runs off around 10 overs – sounds like hard work.  Or bat out for the draw. Michael sought advice and the skipper said ‘what would Walks do?’ We all know Walks loves a good draw! So nurdling and quick twos were preferred to hitting out. Jeremy and Dave Brooks were left in the tank and we all shook hands and went to the bar with more spirit than at any point in the day.  The hospitality of the local Petworth crew was fantastic and as the chat and banter flowed we almost heard some reconciliation towards Ian.

In the shadow of the former chairman and good friend, we all managed to have a great day.

The king is dead.  Long live the king!

Dave Mann